Sewing And Weightloss

As mentioned in my last post, I have been having a lot of thoughts about sewing and weightloss as I have lost some weight recently, and hope to lose another 3, 4 or 5 stone depending on how I feel further down the road (I cannot set a goal weight because I am unable to visualise what I will look like at an arbitrarily set number on a scale, I will know when I have lost enough for my own preferences - I'm always going to be a curvy lady!!).

I am not the largest member of the online sewing community, but I was/am not comfortable in my own skin. At risk of type 2 diabetes, and being easily out of breath, and struggling to paint my own damn toenails, I knew things had to change.

Left me, right my sister, taken in May 2016 but at roughly the same weight as when I started WW

So in the picture I am wearing a dress I made for an event in September 2015 (obviously unblogged because I am an incompetent blogger!). I made it from my own sundress pattern, from fabric I carefully selected, buttons in my choice of contrasting colour, and hemmed by hand using some pretty lace. The nature of the pattern placement of the hearts was forgotten about hence the weird bit in the middle, and the armscye could do with a 1/4" scooped out. In no way is this dress perfect. But it is mine.

The same feelings go for the rest of my imperfect, but specially curated wardrobe. It is small, I do not have provisions for all seasons, it consists of 75% black clothing, and the rest made up from navy, grey, and the rare pop of a gingham or olive green. My clothes have meaning, each has its own story, and the small amount of items mean I really do remember when it was made and why. The only way my clothes could be more personal is if I wove the cloth they are made from (which is unlikely to happen!).

So now I am two stone lighter, and they say I should feel healthier! They say I should really feel the difference! They say I should be "#so proud"! They say I should see the difference! Happy happy, joy joy! Well spoiler alert, I don't. I can't see the difference, I don't feel healthier, I can paint my toenails a bit easier though.

I know through the evidence of the scale, and through the fit of my clothes that it is happening for real. I see my clothes looking sad and baggy. I live in leggings and a sad baggy tonic tee if I am not leaving the house. My embroidered Ginger jeans are so far into droopy arseville that I can't even go there with them any more. My dearly loved polka dotted blouse is now a sad saggy sack. But I should be pleased by this so they say.

The reason I kept my wardrobe so small is because of my preference for a sustainable wardrobe. I hate waste, I hate throwaway clothes culture, and I love having only things I enjoy wearing. I understand my views are the minority here, no hating on those sewists who have a large bounty of handmade clothing in their closet, "To thine own self be true" after all. Growing out, or should that be shrinking out, of my clothes whilst they are not worn enough to be worn out and too worn for the charity shop is causing me anxiety. I feel wasteful.

The personal nature of my relationship with my clothing is making me miserable. I can't bring myself to make some new items to tide me over the next 2 stone loss to go through the feeling of waste again. I don't even feel like I can re-purpose the fabric from any of my existing clothes into only temporary garments. I get that this is not a normal way to think about ones clothing. Buying new in a size smaller is one of the thrills most women get to boost them on their often long and hard journey, I don't even know what size dress I would pick up off the rack it has been so long since I got anything but bras and those stretchy saviours keeping me from wandering round in just my knickers.


I'm sure that for many sewists this sound like the ramblings of a madwoman, and for those who do not sew it surely sounds madder still! Perhaps I am too sentimental, too obsessed, too neurotic...but I would never choose to again have that impersonal relationship with the things that are literally, albeit not figuratively, closest to me. Sewing has taught me patience, responsibility, mindfulness, confidence, and made me aware of all those little body quirks that you would never know if not for taking all those measurements.

There is more to life than clothes, no shadow of a doubt on that one, but clothes are the reflections of life, and I for one value them deeply.

Hello, And Welcome.

"Black is modest and arrogant 

at the same time. 

Black is lazy and easy - but mysterious.

Above all black says this: 

'I don't bother you - don't bother me'." 

           Yohji Yamomoto

This is one of my favourite quotes - I'm not one of those people who go crazy for the inspirational, life affirming, nauseating bullshit quotes littering Pinterest. "She believed she could, so she did" well cross your fingers "she" didn't have the ambitions of Icarus....*rolls eyes*.

If by some miracle you have stumbled here, and obviously ended up reading this, I would like to go off on a tangent about my previous blog before I get back to the quote above. I would apologise, but I'm a tangenty person, so you'll just have to deal with it or leave ;)

My last blog was active in fits and starts for over 5 years. I desperately wanted to have a blog with a decent amount of readers so I could interact with other sewing people, and also do fun things like swaps and giveaways. I upped traffic by posting patterns linked up to free pattern sites, did a tutorial that led in considerable traffic from pinterest each month, but never really got people to hang around beyond the page they clicked on. Clearly my crafty hodge-podge was lacking in some way or another, and it frustrated me. I eventually worked it out - it was just rubbish! A collection of crap. However the SBC is way too polite, and people I talked to about my frustrations were never brave enough to even hint that it was the terrible content. I was urged to make an effort to comment loads on other peoples blogs, and that people would start to check out my blog from there. Well sorry to say but I tried, and it was exhausting and pointless. It never gained me followers, it just wasted my time leaving the same generic comments which whilst nice and ego boosting for the recipients ("beautiful dress, that colour looks fab on you" etc etc) made me feel like a massive fraud and really fake. Don't get me wrong, they weren't normally lies, and I'm not an overly horrid person, but I never did much care for the whole lets hug and compliment each other routine.

So anyhow, I packed up that nonsense, and felt like I must be some kind of cretin because I wasn't able to fit in and be liked. I found another part of the online sewing community (GOMI craft) much more appealing, and lurking there made me feel like less of a freak. Constructive criticism is good. It is how we learn and grow. People call it snarking when it is aimed at themselves, or their friends, as it is accepted we will all do the "we're all so nice" thing. I have gleaned so many useful things from the guys over there, and found some new blogs to follow too. If my admission to this puts you off reading then that is your choice. I also do not wish to debate the merit/flaws of it, everyone is free to have their own opinion.

On this blog, please don't be afraid to say when things are sub par. You do not need to be rude, or criticise things like my weight/unphotogenic face as I am mean enough about myself without any additional grenades launched. If you can see something I have made a mistake with, or know of an easier way to do something I have struggled with, then for goodness sakes say so!

If you just don't like something I have made then you may keep it to yourself, I have a very narrow range of styles I like, and I probably don't like things you make either. So thems are the rules mmkay?

Back to that quote. I love black. It makes me feel comforable. I like to stay co-ordinated, black aids this. I'm not so hot for bright colours and crazy prints, or anything too wild. It is like a soothing security blanket that lets me feel inconspicuous when out and about, not attracting attention to that which I do not like about myself. In order to keep this blog true to myself I am only going to make what I like, and chances are it will be dark coloured and difficult to photograph. I am not a sweatshop, I produce items on a basis of needs, and the proverbial cake wins out over frosting. This blog therefore may not be the most active in terms of clothing, and I won't apologise for it.

I intend to also discuss things I am reading, that may or may not be to do with sewing/knitting. I hope to include posts about how I use up my scraps, sew with recycled materials, and my wardrobe policy. I like to do philanthropic crafting, and will talk about it if only for the hope that it inspires one person to do something themselves. Obviously cat photos at opportune moments too.

I would be lying if I said I don't care if nobody reads this, I still after all want to have some kind of exchange with others - I don't really have any friends into garment sewing, or even sewing regularly.

I am telling the truth when I say I will not ass-kiss, post things explicitly for the intention of gaining followers, or post things that are not true to myself just to keep to a schedule. I accept this will probably be a lonely place, but as they say, quality over quantity.